[WSIS CS-Plenary] Proposed statement to GFC on paras 10, 11 and 29

[Parminder]

I will take in all the edits in the end. Parminder 

_________________________________________________
Parminder Jeet Singh
IT for Change
Bridging Development Realities and Technological Possibilities 
91-80-26654134
www.ITforChange.net 

-----Original Message-----
From: plenary-admin at wsis-cs.org [mailto:plenary-admin at wsis-cs.org] On Behalf
Of karen banks
Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2005 4:50 PM
To: plenary at wsis-cs.org
Subject: RE: [WSIS CS-Plenary] Proposed statement to GFC on paras 10, 11 and
29

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** resending as i don't see this on the list apologies if dupe **

>Date: Wed, 31 Aug 2005 11:58:08 +0100
>To: <plenary at wsis-cs.org>
>From: karen banks <karenb at gn.apc.org>
>Subject: RE: [WSIS CS-Plenary] Proposed statement to GFC on paras 10, 11 
>and 29
>
>hi parminder, all
>
>----
>1.    The undersigned organisations and individuals from the Civil
Society...
>
>2.    We will like to see the present suggested mechanism, based on ...
>----
>
>yes, good solid points,
>
>and would agree with adam's comment:
>
>Suggest you change "We will like to see the present suggested mechanism, 
>based on ..."
>
>We suggest that follow-up and implementation mechanisms are based on...
>
>and.. maybe break point 2 up into two sentances, and a couple of edits.. 
>i'm not sure 'adequate and necessary' works as a phrase.. i think the 
>preceeding.. 'to ensure that an ..' is enough? otherwise, we would need to 
>say something like.. 'it is necessary to ensure that.. etc.
>
>
>a re-write could be:
>
>2.    We suggest that follow-up mechanisms are based on 
>[multi?]-stakeholder teams around action lines with a well-defined overall 
>co-ordination body, as contained in existing paras 10, 11 and 29. Further, 
>that they be improved and elaborated through a multi-stakeholder 
>consultative process to ensure that an adequate [delete? and necessary] 
>post-WSIS structure is in place, not only for implementing the outcomes of 
>WSIS, but also to take up Information Society issues as they 
>[emerge?]/come up.
>
>---
>APC signs on in any case.. regardless of minor edits
>
>karen


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